Life has been quite crazy. Months of exhaustion turned into migraines turned into random but constant dizzy spells and before I knew it I could barely get out of bed. To function for a few short hours a day I was consuming more energy drinks in one day than I’m sure is safe and even with all of that caffeine in my system I could barely stay up past 11 p.m. Ironic considering I’ve been an insomniac most of my life. Fast forward and I’ve been diagnosed as anemic due to an iron deficiency. My iron’s always been low so I guess it was really not a surprise that after months of not taking care of myself my body would react negatively, but secretly I hoped for something else. The tiredness, the dizziness, some nausea… I hoped that even unexpected and unplanned–and even having accepted that it wasn’t going to happen and writing about it just weeks ago– maybe being a Mom would be in the cards. But anemia it is. What’s a girl gonna do when life has other plans, but just deal?
So today, after being lectured by the doctor on the importance of putting my health first, I took a long walk. As part of my path I chose a street that I only drive through and realized that in all my years in Chicago I had never noticed the beautiful houses there (Kedzie just south of Fullerton for you Chicagoans) and my mind drifted to the dreams of my youth. And I began to come to terms with the fact that my life today is a result of my choices. Though I may have dreamed of of the picket fence, the husband, the family, my choices reflected other priorities.
That’s life though. Each moment is a result of a previous choice. Where I am today is where I chose to be just like everyone else.