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Hotel, motel…umm…where’s the Holiday Inn?

3-Day Adventure Part I

A random Friday evening and this time we decide that nothing is going to stop us. We are going on our adventure. Rental car: check. Map: check. Spirit of adventure: check and check!

Upon looking at the map  we decided on a visit to La Parguera, a small fishing village in Lajas, Puerto Rico.  This is one of four areas in Puerto Rico that has a phosphorescent bay where the water illuminates when disturbed.  Our trip begins in Caguas and a few short hours later, we arrive at our destination, rushing to catch the last boat of the night.

We paid our $6 for the boat tour, boarded a short time later and headed out into the moonlit bay.  Unfortunately they do not allow photography (still unsure why) but reaching out into the water and creating light as I moved my hand was just as amazing as it sounds.

After our boat ride we did a little shopping, a little eating and a little drinking while enjoying the beautiful weather and music that surrounded us.  As the nightlife in the village died down so did our energy level and it was time to find a place to sleep for the night.

After an unsuccessful attempt to find a place to sleep in the village we headed about 20 minutes out where we got directions to a hotel.  We got to the base of a hill with two roads leading up. We took one road and found a hotel.  We parked outside the office and B spoke to the person in the office while I sat in the car.  He returned to the car and told me that the the man in the office said, “Este es un establecimiento familial.”   For those of you who don’t read Spanish, that means “This is a family establishment.”  Maybe I’m naive but at that moment to me that translated into ‘we only serve families,’ which seemed weird, but hey I wasn’t up on all Puerto Rican customs.

I told B that I thought I saw a sign that read ‘Motel’ near the road that headed up the other side of the hill.  We drove back down, confirmed that there was such a sign and drove up the other side.  When we reached the top we thought we were in a storage facility.  There were garage doors everywhere some open, some closed.  Just as we spotted a guy on a golf cart, I turned to my left and saw that the door inside the garage was open and I saw a bed so I said, “Oh, I guess everyone gets their own garage.  Just pull into any empty one.”  We drove into one and I got out and walked into the room as B spoke to the guy on the golf cart.  I looked around and saw that it was relatively clean and then, as I continued to look around, saw the mirrors on the ceiling and started laughing.  B walked into the room behind me and turned on the television and lo and behold there was porn, not a guide channel but unscrambled porn, right there on the first channel with no warning.  I started to laugh even harder as I said “Oh my God, this is a ho-motel!!!  I am in a ho-motel and the garage door is to hide your car.  You can be a sneaky ho!!!  That’s what the guy meant by family establishment at the hotel,  he thought I was a ho.!!”  This was confirmed when we heard a knock in the back of the room where there was a cabinet type thing on the wall where money changes hands without anyone being seen.

It’s all very illicit but apparently, after asking a certain local (my brother), very common.  Being the curious girl that I am I had to check into this phenomenon and found that we, being on a budget, got the most simple room in the place.  There are much nicer rooms available with jacuzzis and love machines (google the term yourself if you’re curious) for those seeking to enhance their illicit affair experience.

Next trip, I’ll find the nearest Holiday Inn.

Part II- Lost and playing Survivor on The Blue Lagoon
Part III- Living art gallery
Part IV- Mr. Friendly
Part V- A case of the Mondays

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