Sometimes I drive lost in thought. It`s as if my eyes, though looking forward, are focused on something far off in the distance. All of a sudden my mind comes back into focus; I look around and realize that I have reached my destination. I can’t remember any part of the trip so I sit and wonder just how did I get here?
The same is true for my life recently. I am here. I am at this moment in my life. I will be another year older sooner than I care to think about and there are times when I can’t recall the choices I made to bring me to this particular destination that make up the circumstances of my life.
I`m a believer in no regrets; have the experience, learn the lesson and move on. But as I sit here contemplating my age, I am making comparisons about where I am versus where I thought I would be. I can’t help but wonder exactly which decision brought me here and thinking that maybe it was the wrong one.
John Lennon wrote ‘Life is what happens to you while you`re busy making other plans’ in his song Beautiful Boy. But maybe he was wrong and maybe I should have planned better instead of leaving it all to chance. Maybe I`d have the white picket fence and the life that comes with it; maybe, just maybe.
Then again, maybe if I trust myself and stop questioning I`d realize that I`m right where I should be and the white picket fence doesn’t necessarily hold the life for me. It doesn’t matter. I stopped making plans long ago because life was too uncertain and logic did not agree with my heart. My heart knows what it wants and though I don’t always understand it I will always follow it. Sometimes it leads me astray, but it is always an adventure.