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The waiting game sucks!

There’s been a lot happening in my life the past few months. Well, actually, that’s not true. It probably just feels like that because the few things that are happening just feel so big. I wasn’t going to write about this because the truth is, it’s an unanswered question better left unspoken until the answer comes. BUT the answer is taking so long to come, and that in itself is causing some issues.

So here it is. For a few years now I’ve been feeling not myself. I’m often fatigued, weak, and sometimes dizzy. A few months ago I started to feel numbness in my feet and my hand. The same numbness you feel when you’ve slept on a limb, except that I hadn’t slept on that limb. Last year the doctor told me my blood pressure was low, and that was something I needed to keep an eye on. Before that, another told me I was anemic. But keeping tabs of those two things, and trying to make healthy changes in my life didn’t help, so when the numbness came, and the dizzy spells continued in spite of my removing the Red Bull that I had thought caused them from my diet, I began to worry.

One night, I was reading something online, and I still can’t tell you how, I ended up clicking on an article that lists the early signs of Multiple Sclerosis (MS). I ran down the list mentally checking almost all of the listed symptoms and to say I freaked out a little would be an understatement. I made an appointment right away and my doctor concluded that my blood work showed nothing, so a neurologist is my next step. That was two months ago. My initial appointment, which was supposed to be early this month, was rescheduled and I am waiting until January 6th. YES, I realize that I should be on the phone with someone fighting about that, but it was our busy season at work, and I have barely had time to sleep, let alone sit on the phone during a busy work day trying to find a neurologist who can see me sooner.

So here I am, less than a month to the appointment and a few of my friends are encouraging me to be positive. To put out positive vibes into the universe that my results will come back negative. I know they mean well, but here’s the thing. My results coming back negative will not diminish the symptoms. They will not tell me why I’m so fatigued, why my hand goes numb, and why—this has become more pronounced—I am experiencing muscle spams more than once a night. I’m personally NOT hoping the results come back negative. I’m hoping the results will answer that question I’ve left unspoken for so long. And having been sick with a bad case of bronchitis this week, with my doctor worried about it turning into pneumonia, I’ve had too much time to sit and think and imagine just how bad it could be and wait just to see just how bad it is..

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6 thoughts on “The waiting game sucks!”

  1. it’s hard for me to like this, but I do. The only part I don’t like is you being too busy to be on the phone about your health.

    I know how you’re feeling and the need to want answers to questions. Most often than not, having answer will help you feel normal again, and if not normal then explained. It’s a great fear of the unknown and especially when it comes to our bodies do we have to make sure everything is working correctly. Through this, you’ll find out just how magical and amazing the body is. I know I did, going through my experiences. Things happen and unfortunately they happen to the best of us, but every experience is an opportunity to learn more. Look at it that way. You’ll have insight very few have and learn to appreciate your life in a different way. I’m not hoping for a positive test result, but I’m hoping for an answer so you can get back on track. <3<3

  2. I first started reading your blog today because I’ve also started to let my silver hair shine and finally ditch the dye. I’m just sick of it and after a year of many health problems, wanted to stop covering my head in chemical goo every three weeks. The first two months were hard, but now I get excited to see more and more solver each week. My ours is gorgeous!

    So anyway, I clicked on this page and got shivers because I just went through the same exact symptoms you are experiencing last Spring! I thought I had MS or Lyme disease, I just felt horrible! My hormones were wacked out and periods a mess, I had brain fog and word retrieval issues, bloating and back pain, horrible burping and I felt like I couldn’t swallow at night and would wake up in a panic dreaming I had swallowed rocks. (Weird, I know!). I also gained 20 lbs in six months despite exercise and eating the same and had zero energy…. What freaked me out the most was when I stared feeling pins and needles in my hands, face and feet. So, long story short I switched from my PCP to an integrative medical doctor who ran a stool and blood allergy test. You need to get those done! I’m so mad my other doctor just gave me Prilosec and told me I was getting older. (I’m 40!). Turns out I had an H.pylori infection and a parasite of unknown origin which was causing all the problems. Due to this, I have 18 food allergies from the leaky gut it caused and I’m now trying to eat more primal. To regulate my hormones, I’m also taking the lowest dose of progesterone cream and that’s helped a lot with pms, etc. I wish I could say I’m fixed, but it’s going to be a long road…. I swear, between this and growing out my gray hair it’s the universes way of etching me patience! Good luck to you!

    1. Thank you so much for sharing this information. I ran into a link about parasites around January, and have been doing some research about it. After reading all of this stuff, I started to think that maybe it was more stomach/digestive related.

      When you say ‘primal’ do you mean as in Paleo diet type stuff? I’d love more info.

      Thanks!

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